CAREGIVERS “FIGURE IT OUT”
One April 1st, my Mom had a stroke. Happy April Fool’s Day!
It was the beginning of what the World came to know as a Global Pandemic. This State had the highest per capita deaths of the Elderly. Families were encouraged to keep their relatives at home versus Nursing Homes or Assisted Living Facilities whenever possible.
My Mother returned to her home upon being released from the hospital. I received special dispensation to remain here in the Senior Living Complex as my Mom’s Caregiver. I remember wondering what I was going to do. I also remember discussing the situation with the property manager and her response was, “Youse guys will figure it out.”
In New England “Youse Guys,” is a familiar term basically meaning, “You all.” And so, the manager was saying, “you and your Brother will figure it out.”
The first thing we “figured out” was that my Mother could not live alone and she wanted to remain at home. So, we figured out that I would be acting Caregiver.
As a Caregiver, one is constantly trying to figure out things.
You have to figure out how to do a whole bunch of things that you never thought you would ever do.
You have to figure out how to sleep with one ear open in order to listen for things that go bump in the night. You don’t want to miss a fall or any other mishap.
You have to figure out how and when to take away things like the car or the ability to shower when no one else is home. Little by little, you have to figure out how to maintain control without making your loved one feel as if they have no control.
You have to figure out how to establish helpful routines, manage medications, schedule appointments, and manage finances—all for someone else.
You have to figure out how to release stress, get some rest, maintain your sanity and cope with Caregiving.
You have to figure out how to have some joy, find some peace, and hold on to as much of yourself as possible.
You have to figure out a health care system that is deeply flawed. Figuring out how to make sure that the PCP listens to you because you know the patient better than he does is not easy. But it is necessary; so, you have to figure it out.
You have to figure out how to set boundaries with people who don’t have a clue what you’re going through but insist on offering unsolicited advice.
You have to figure out how to handle the Guilt, Worry, Frustration, Isolation, Resentment, and Anger without letting it destroy you.
You have to figure out what to say to people who consistently ask you, “How’s your Mother?” with seemingly no concern for you.
There is so much more that you have to figure out.
So, as a Caregiver, that’s what you do, you figure it out.
If only there was time to figure out exactly what you need to figure out before you are forced to actually figure it out. Sound complicated?
Figure it out.
FRENCH MONTANA (featuring Kanye West & Nas) – FIGURE IT OUT
https://youtu.be/CNUd4kZqjyA?si=_B5qWWY2WGiJuAre
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE PODCAST – “CAREGIVING I’VE LEARNED”
https://youtu.be/6vNwizNz29g?si=l0rdbrDdiTBUwLUW
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE – THE BLOG
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