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the CAREGIVER’S CONSCIOUS FOCUS

September 30, 2026September 30, 2026

CONSCIOUS FOCUS ON ME.

I’m a Caregiver and by definition my Focus centers around someone else.

Over the past several weeks—one month to be exact, I have consciously focused on myself.

Consciously Focus on Me.

As a Caregiver, that’s a lot harder to Do than it is to Write, Say or Think.

But I set a goal. I am a person who throughout life—my previous life anyway—set goals and then focused on achieving those goals. It’s one of my basic character traits and as such it hasn’t really changed.

Conscious is an adjective defined as “done or acting with critical awareness” or “being concerned or interested.” In other words, Mindful or Aware.

Miriam Webster defines Focus as a verb meaning to fix one’s attention steadily toward a central object—to aim, direct, concentrate, attend, heed, and obsess over.

And so, in a sense my goal has been…

To be mindful and critically aware that I concentrate and obsess over a central object—ME.

And that would include; Me, Myself and I.

As I mentioned, that is not as easy to achieve as it is to create that specific goal.

Of course, there are duties and responsibilities of Caregiving that could not be ignored. Activities that had to be completed no matter on what I was consciously focused. And I did those things. My Mother’s world kept turning on its own axis; however, my world did not revolve around her completely.

I did not schedule any appointments for her. All of her necessary and hardly necessary doctor’s appointments had been completed previously. I took this opportunity to see my Primary Care Physician, the Dentist, and to have an annual Mammogram. Each and every medical appointment focused on ME.

I spent time with people (albeit in 2-hour intervals) that I hadn’t seen because of my constant concern regarding leaving my Mother more often than not.

I didn’t accompany her to an event that I didn’t want to attend. She scheduled an outing with one of her friends and had committed my attendance. The forecast predicted rain and having already attended an outdoor event with her in the rain, I had no desire to go to another. For me, accompanying her to these types of events is not an occasion for me to have fun or attempt to enjoy myself. They are simply another opportunity for me to “serve” her in a different location, surrounded by people who do not belong to my circle of friends.

That may sound cruel but remember, this event occurred during a time when I was “consciously focused on me.” And I had no interest in spending the day in the rain making sure that my Mom was well fed, comfortable, warm and entertained. Especially since it’s much easier to tend to those things at home.

During this time, I was not able to catch up on any rest or much needed sleep, but I did not feel quite as anxious, and I brought my Caregiver high alert down to an intense concern and moderate warning. It was not easy.

Actually, consciously focusing on me required intense concentration and deliberate actions. I often found myself repeating to myself, “focus on me,” over and over again. It did not come naturally–it was a constant conscious focus.

However, it was a goal and to the Best of my ability, I achieved said goal. A conscious focus on…

My Health.

My Well-being.

My Interests.

My Concerns.

My State of Mind

My Joy and Happiness.

I did it! I felt good about Myself. I took care of Me. And I liked the feeling.

I plan to try it again–Conscious Focus on Me.

It’s good for my Caregiver’s Conscience.