FREDERICK
As a Caregiver, I have taken a lesson from Frederick
Years ago, one of my best friends told me a story about a field mouse named Frederick. While the rest of his family was busy storing food for the winter, Frederick was seemingly doing nothing. However, Frederick was actually watching the world around him storing memories. When winter arrived and the food ran out, it was Frederick’s memories of things like the sun’s light and warmth that helped the family survive the winter.
“Frederick” is a classic children’s short story by Leo Lionni. I don’t remember exactly why my friend told me that story, but I have always remembered the moral of the story. You know, children’s stories—especially the classics—usually have a moral.
Another Summer has gone by with me as my Mom’s Caregiver. A summer that did not include a tropical vacation, days off or even relaxing beach days. The summer days passed as most Caregiving days pass only accompanied by extreme heat and humidity.
And since, I couldn’t go to a tropical beach, I remembered the days spent on Mexican and Hawaiian Beaches. I pictured the color of the oceans and the unique smells and sounds. I thought about the flavors and spices of my favorite dishes. And I could almost feel the rays of the sun warming my body.
Actually, I did feel the rays of the sun—the heat and humidity of a Northeast summer.
On rainy Saturdays, when I miss the days of doing absolutely nothing—I remember them. I reflect on the days when a rainy day forecast encouraged rest and relaxation. And if I consciously focus, I can almost recreate those rainy days. I complete my Caregiving chores as needed and watch movies in between. And if that is not possible, I take moments to visualize doing “absolutely nothing!” It is not easy, but it is possible.
On Friday and Saturday nights when I’m missing hanging out with friends or getting ready for a special date, I pick a night to remember. I think about what I’d rather be doing (usually something I have done before) and I recall the fun, the good times and the misadventures. It always makes me smile to think about doing versions of those same things again.
Until I became a Caregiver, I can honestly say that I Loved My Life! I have always had a blast being me—in good times and not so good times. That makes for a lot of memories to get me through the winter of Caregiving.
I didn’t realize it at the time but during those times, I was collecting memories. Memories of times, places and people that are helping me through these days.
Like Frederick, I suppose that unconsciously I knew that I would one day need to look back at those days and remember.
Remembering the warmth, the love, the gaiety, the joy, the happiness, the feelings of days gone by help me to make it through these Caregiving days. And the memories encourage me to look forward to the days ahead.
Winter is a Season with a beginning and an end.
Frederick’s memories, like mine, will get me through this Season.
These days…These days…
RUDIMENTAL – “THESE DAYS”
https://youtu.be/pjTj-_55WZ8?si=a3Ko7J_sCfWDAQfv
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE PODCAST – “MORE LIFE 2 LIVE”
https://youtu.be/NRff_JXzv3U?si=DdY84LbvtfMwseVE
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE – THE BLOG
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