POSTS

SHOWING UP FOR THE CAREGIVER

June 3, 2026

& What that means…and doesn’t mean

Showing up for the Caregiver entails:

Listening when the Caregiver needs someone to talk to

If you are a Family member, listening when the Caregiver complains about the person for whom they are caring
Understanding when the Caregiver doesn’t want to talk
Not asking a bunch of questions that do not relate to Caregiving
Not asking a bunch of questions period.
Changing the subject when the Caregiver clearly wants to be distracted

LISTENING TO THE CAREGIVER

Understanding the Caregiver’s limited availability

If the Caregiver says, “The CNA/Nurse is here from 9am-1pm; I can do something when she’s here with my Mom.” That does not mean, “How about lunch, I’ll pick you up at 12:30.” Unless by “lunch” you meant cruising through Inn & Out Burger’s Drive-Thru Window, that timing will not work.
Caregivers have an extremely limited amount of time available to be away from Caregiving and the reasons are specific to the Caregiver and no one else may understand.
Most Caregivers do not have the luxury of “chatting” for long periods of time.

CAREGIVER’S CURFEW

Offering advice and opinions only when asked

Just that—keep all advice, opinions and well-meaning observations to yourself.

MAKING ME FEEL WORSE

Providing assistance in areas the Caregiver needs

Rather than in areas which you perceive the Caregiver could use help
The Caregiver has worked tirelessly to establish some sort of routine/pattern/system of Caregiving. It does not help the Caregiver to insert oneself into a Caregiving situation and attempt to make changes to that system.
When the Caregiver actually asks for help; please, please do your best to Show Up. The Caregiver only asks for assistance when your help is truly needed.

DOING MY BEST CAREGIVING

Asking about the well-being of the Caregiver themselves

But not by telling the Caregiver that they need to care for themselves
Saying, “If I were you, or you should do this or that,” is generally not helpful
Focus on the Caregiver for a few minutes to allow the Caregiver to think about themselves and not the person for whom they are caring

Showing up for the Caregiver shouldn’t be that hard. Narrowing it down to one word, one action, the action-word is…

LISTEN

Listening to the Caregiver will allow them to express the cares and concerns of their Caregiver’s Conscience. Otherwise, the Caregiver tends to become isolated.

LISTEN

If you listen to the Caregiver, the Caregiver will let you know when they are available to be “swept away from Caregiving.” When they have time, and when they’d like to just hang out.

LISTEN

If you listen closely, one will be able to hear clearly the areas in which the Caregiver could use help and the times when assistance would be appreciated.

LISTEN

& The Caregiver will let you know how you can help them care for themselves.

Showing up for the Caregiver means listening to the Caregiver and actually hearing what the Caregiver is saying.

It’s harder than it seems. Perhaps that’s why so few people actually do LISTEN to the Caregiver.

I’m Blessed for I have Cousins, and close Friends who LISTEN.

People do Show Up.