OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS…
about my Caregiving.
I’m not sure exactly what has changed, but since I’ve been a Caregiver, I’ve noticed that other people always seem to have an opinion.
In the past my thoughts about other people’s opinions could have been summed up with the words from a song, “I don’t care because they really don’t know. They never see or hear the things I do, so as far as I’m concerned, they all can go to hell!”
Since I’ve become a Caregiver, I am bombarded with other people’s opinions. And I suppose that because I’m in a somewhat vulnerable state as my Mom’s Caregiver, those opinions are really taking a toll on me.
First, there are my Mom’s friends (well let’s just call them friends) and their advice. They seem to feel that they are entitled to offer their opinions because they are so-called friends. Not. These people see my Mother once or twice a quarter—that would be 4-6 times/year.
And they see my Mother at her Best. Humphrey Bogart once said, “All you owe the public is a good show!” And my Mother can give an award-winning performance for a couple of hours. After that she needs help…
Help with absolutely Everything. My Mother’s friends don’t see the daily need for Caregiving. Therefore, their opinions are uninformed and mis-guided.
Every once in awhile a stranger will give me a nasty look as if to say, “Why aren’t you helping your Mother?” I do my best to ensure that my Mother keeps her mobility and dexterity by purposely not helping her with those things that I know she can handle herself. I am not cruel, lazy or unhelpful. As a matter of fact, it would be a lot easier for me if I just jumped in and helped. However, there are many, many more times that my help is actually truly needed. And as they say in movie “Dumb & Dumber,” “Move it or lose it Sister!”
And so, I ignore the looks when I’d really rather say, “Don’t shake your eyes at me.” In other words–Mind Your Business!
Other people’s opinions.
Every now and then, my Brother says, “If I was there, I wouldn’t go through all of that trouble.” And he could be referring to almost anything from making lunch to scheduling doctor’s visits. I often respond by saying, “Well you’re not here and so…”
I don’t always listen to his opinions because I’m the one who is here 24-7. And I am not purposely creating more work for myself. I am doing the things that need to be done. His voice is another person’s opinion.
Other people should exercise restraint and keep their opinions, side glances, and “knowing” advice to themselves.
Other people…
Do Not understand how my day begins and ends.
Don’t know my Mother’s minute by minute needs.
Really don’t have a clue if they’ve never been Caregivers.
Can’t see how difficult it is for me not to take away my Mom’s total independence by doing those things she doesn’t need me to do.
Didn’t live the life that I lived previously–the life I miss dearly and daily.
Cannot truly understand my Caregiver Conscience.
Are not privy to the plans I have for my Mom’s care.
Don’t realize how their opinions are words capable of piercing a hole in my heart.
Other people really should live by the words, “Before you abuse, criticize and accuse, Walk A Mile in My Shoes.”
And I need to remember…
“I don’t care because they really don’t know. They never see or hear the things I do, so as far as I’m concerned, they all can go to hell!” *
Other people and their opinions.
“THE BEST OF BUSINESS IN THE LINE OF BUSINESS IS TO MIND YOUR BUSINESS. AND IF YOU’VE GOT NO BUSINESS, MAKE IT YOUR BUSINESS TO LEAVE OTHER PEOPLE’S BUSINESS ALONE…”
FAITH, HOPE & CHARITY – “TO EACH HIS OWN”
https://youtu.be/cRmVaNp21kc?si=ZAs9lanvPKQN-q47
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE PODCAST – “WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES”
https://youtu.be/Lf5hMsw58Tc?si=m91TeHGGaI6gi2nf
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE BLOG
WHAT NOT TO SAY TO THE CAREGIVER
*”I don’t care ’cause they really don’t know. They never see or hear the things I do with you. So as far as I’m concerned, they all can go to hell!” A Line from:
RICK JAMES – “YOU & I”
https://youtu.be/–VVhElZsPo?si=vWQYtA-novsgAt6G
I am sure they would quit your job within a week.
Thank U for the positive support. I need it! Thank U for reading “A Caregiver’s Conscience.” 😎