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WHEN LADIES MEET

August 20, 2025August 20, 2025

WHEN LADIES MEET

“When Ladies Meet” is the title of a Classic movie. A movie with a plot so compelling that it was made twice. Once in 1933 with Ann Harding, Robert Montgomery and Myrna Loy; and then less than 10 years later in 1941 with Joan Crawford, Robert Taylor and Greer Garson.

The storyline centers around a female Author who is having trouble completing the final chapter of her novel. She works closely with her married Editor to achieve an award-winning ending. So closely, that they begin an affair. Without spoiling the movie for you, I can say that the climax of the movie involves the moment when the Mistress meets the Wife.

I must mention that women at that time handled such things in a very civilized manner; hence the title, “When Ladies Meet.” Today those meetings are captured in Lifetime movies with titles like, “My Husband’s Killer Girlfriend,” or “Stalked by My Husband’s Ex.” And such meetings happen regularly on reality Crime Dramas such as, “Why Women Kill,” “Deadly Wives” and “Snapped”

The world has definitely changed.

Anyway, the Ladies’ Meetings which my Mother attends are nothing of the sort. And in no manner are they worthy of Movie, TV Series or even a daytime drama.

On Mondays, my Mom attends an East Side Seniors Meeting. This is a very small town, so you can imagine that the East Side of such a town makes the town slightly smaller. The regular attendees at these meetings include my Mom, Aunt Christina, Aunt Vivian, Aunt Laura, Cousin Edward and the Neighbor from next door. Oddly but I suppose expected, Edward is the President of the group. And although, the ladies routinely complain about the current administration, not one of those ladies has volunteered to replace the only man in the group.

The ladies meet to plan activities, discuss current events, play senior friendly games and have lunch. That’s what happens when those particular ladies meet.

Most Fridays, first thing in the morning a group of women gather in the Community Room for coffee. This group of ladies encompasses a wider bunch as Coffee Hour is open to all the residents of the Senior Living Complex.

When these ladies meet, they hold an old-fashioned gossip session. They spread the news of the absent residents over coffee and pastries. There is nothing my Mother likes better than a good donut and a “so-so” cup of coffee.

My Mother attends Mass fairly regularly. On Sundays, her Church is attended by a considerably older congregation. A congregation where the Ladies are able to trace their Family lineage directly to the names on the dedication plaques below the Stained- Glass windows.

The Congregation meets after the service for “Coffee Hour.” Much like the Senior Living coffee hour, the parishioners discuss their activities, any children or grandchildren in attendance and from time to time, I suppose the sermon comes up in conversation. On special occasions—at least once a month, food along the lines of Brunch is served and the Ladies discuss the variety of dishes and recipes.

These moments, “when ladies meet,” provide much valued alone time for me. They offer an hour or two here and there when I don’t have to actively focus on Caregiving. A time when I write, talk on the phone, watch a movie un-interrupted or simply just sit still. A time that I look forward to and find myself extremely disappointed when the meetings do not occur.

Recently, one of my Cousins came to town. I always enjoy hanging out with her when she’s in town. I have my own version of “when ladies meet” that typically involves Happy Hour with drinks, appetizers, checking out cute guys and our own brand of self-absorbed gossip. It’s just that those meetings are very few and far between.

On her last visit, my Cousin suggested that we get together with our Moms (we’ve done this before) and our 93-year-old Aunt. Not only did this meeting sound totally unappealing, but I also felt the need to avoid it all costs. One problem with this meeting is that the 93-year-old Aunt was coming unattended. I kept thinking she’s going to need a Caregiver as this Aunt (my Mom’s Sister-in-law) suffers from selective dementia, is not very mobile and is extremely demanding. She’s demanding and my Mother is competitive, which puts this Caregiver squarely in the middle of competing caregiving needs.

I did however know that I could confide in my Cousin, and she would get it. She and her Sister divide their Caregiving duties between them so when it’s her turn she gets what seems like a double-dose of Caregiving.

I don’t attend the Senior Meetings or accompany them on their various field trips, and the Aunts don’t really encourage it. I believe that they spend a good portion of the time, talking about us “kids,” and if we were in attendance, that would ruin the opportunity to laugh at and complain about us. Once, I did attend a Senior dance which I referred to as the “Senior Shuffle.” Well, the Senior Shuffle was like a high school reunion as the seniors had the bright idea to invite their children and hire a DJ. It suffices to say that I shuffled the night away–never leaving the dance floor until the party ended!

I don’t attend the Resident’s Coffee Hour mainly because I do not see myself as a resident. Also, I spend a great deal of time walking in opposite directions around the complex to avoid these very people. And I have found that being the youngest person in the room puts one at an extreme disadvantage. For the duration of the meeting, you become a Caregiver to everyone in the room. While attending to my Mom, I end up serving everyone in the room. And contrary to my Mother’s viewpoint, I am really not a waitress.

Despite my love for the rituals of my faith, I do not attend Mass regularly. The two hours provided by those meetings at church are hours that I covet. And I truly believe that God understands.

Although these meetings may not make it into the plot of a TV Series, Daytime Soap or a Classic Movie, I am ever so appreciative of the time “when ladies meet.”