CAREGIVER ISOLATION
According to the Miriam-Webster dictionary, synonyms of the word ‘Isolate’ are to cut off, seclude and separate. Essentially to set apart from others. Caregiver Isolation is when the caregiver knowingly or un-knowingly secludes, separates and cuts oneself off from others. (As I see it)
As a Caregiver I find myself isolating myself from others.
There are some days when…
I don’t want to see anyone.
I don’t want to go anywhere.
I don’t want to talk to anyone in person or via phone.
I just want to be alone—isolated.
And those days are no longer few and far between but are beginning to occur more and more.
On those days when I don’t want to see anyone, I actually find myself sneaking around the Senior Complex. I simply can’t bear having an inane conversation with any of the elderly residents.
I also don’t accept offers to go out with any of my Friends or Cousins—even for just a couple of hours.
As far as I’m concerned, I don’t feel my best or look my best and I don’t want to see anyone under those circumstances.
I never want to go anywhere because as far as I’m concerned there is nowhere that I want to go. Anyway, there is nowhere in this town that I want to go. Sometimes I challenge myself and think, “If I could go anywhere and do anything, where would that be?” Nine times out of ten, that destination is 3754 miles away from where I am. Actually, ten times out of ten. I was just trying to be positive.
At any rate, when I do go out, all I do is worry and feel guilty about leaving my Mother alone. It isn’t safe to leave her alone for more than a 2-hours. It’s just not worth the worry and guilt to go somewhere that I didn’t really want to go anyway. And so, I typically don’t go.
I hardly ever really want to chat anymore. I don’t have anything interesting to add to most conversations and my mind is full of Caregiving facts, activities and responsibilities. All topics which I would rather not discuss. I can’t bear to listen to anyone’s well-meaning advice, observations or suggestions. I don’t care because they really don’t know. And sadly, I am not truly interested in what is going on in the world around me.
I don’t want to hear about anyone else’s day, vacation or life outside of Caregiving. Because I don’t want to resent my Friends and Family for their lives which do go on. Especially since my life is on pause.
And so…
I limit my conversations with Family and Friends.
I don’t go out to places I’d rather not go.
And I don’t really see people.
I isolate myself.
Or…
Caregiving isolates me.
Keep in mind, as my Mom’s Caregiver, I am never really actually alone. That is Caregiver Isolation.
MICHAEL JACKSON – ‘LEAVE ME ALONE’
https://youtu.be/crbFmpezO4A?si=FglRZhGHUa3C_356
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE PODCAST – ‘WHY THE CAREGIVER DOESN’T TALK’
https://youtu.be/UJQvQsBDLiA?si=DpORujaagpi6SSyC
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE BLOG
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