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WORDS MATTER IN CAREGIVING

October 8, 2025October 8, 2025

WORDS MATTER

As a Writer, I am well aware that words matter. And to that end, I typically only say what I mean, and I tend to always mean what I say. Words matter.

With regard to Caregiving, I have been wondering about the words people use to describe some of the key elements common in this situation.

For instance, my Mom wears hearing aids. She needed Hearing Aids long before she actually got them. Not my fault. She consistently said that she did not need hearing aids. My thought was that she wouldn’t wear the hearing aids if she didn’t think that she needed them. And so, I waited until such time. I endured this for about a year and a half before she realized that perhaps Hearing Aids may be in order.

She had begun to mention the people at Church who had Hearing Aids but I think it was when one of her good friends confessed that she had had Hearing Aids for over a year, that my Mother admitted it to herself.

I went through the process—the Insurance, the Multiple Appointments—and finally, my Mother now has Hearing Aids.

When she expressed the thought that she would be uncomfortable having something in her ears for hours at a time. I explained that if she was a Teenager, she would have something in her ears from Morning to Night, and all hours in between. It was at that moment that I decided to refer to Hearing Aids as Earbuds. That works especially since they look like a pair of stylish high tech wireless Earbuds. She was even able to select the color.

My Mother seems to enjoy wearing her Earbuds. Due to her well-manicured tad-too long nails, she is unable to install the hearing aids by herself. That, like most things, is both a blessing and a curse. I have to put them in for her—the curse. But that means that she keeps them in all day—the blessing. And if I forget to put them in, she reminds me.

“We forgot to put in the Earbuds.”

And I believe that referring to them as Earbuds versus Hearing Aids makes all the difference. Words matter.

My Mother is also slightly incontinent. I say slightly because she makes it to the bathroom more than half the time without incident. However, my Brother convinced her to wear Depends years ago and that’s where we are now.

Now, my Mom only wears Depends and although she doesn’t complain; she disposes of them freely. I won’t mention the line-item budget for Depends.

Within the Senior Citizen Community people often refer to incontinence underwear as “diapers.”

Not me. The word “diaper” does not resonate with me at all. I don’t have any children. I was not the neighborhood’s favorite babysitter. And I am not one of those people with a designer dog who decides to potty train their pooch with Pampers.

Hence, I refer to the incontinence underwear by the brand name—Depends. And somehow that sounds far more dignified than “diapers.” I also think that it is a more positive image for the person in need of the product.

I can only image how it feels to think of oneself reverting back to a time when they need diapers. I think it would be better to refer to them as “Pull-up Paper Panties.”

Then there is the Medical Alert device. After a couple of falls, I have been able to convince my mother to wear a Medical Alert Necklace whenever I am away from the house for more than an hour. And since that very rarely occurs—me being away for over an hour, my Mom doesn’t seem to mind.

Ok she does kind of mind wearing the “Safety Necklace” which is what I call this device. She puts it on reluctantly always mentioning that it is an ugly necklace where the safety pendant gets in her way. No matter, she wears it until I return. And that is the point after all.

This is the second Medical Alert device that my Mom has owned. The first one was never used because my Mother insisted that she didn’t need Medical Assistance on call. The words “medical alert” seemed to have a negative connotation. That device eventually became obsolete before it was ever used.

This time, I explained that the Safety Necklace makes me feel more comfortable. I am more confident leaving knowing yet not mentioning that she does have Medical Assistance at the touch of a button. She is safer wearing the necklace than not.

Words matter.

Hearing Aids. Diapers. Medical Alert.

Earbuds. Depends. Safety Necklace.

Three different words describing products with which most Caregivers are familiar.

My Mother is facing difficult changes in her world felt by the elderly population as a whole. Which is the reason for the creation of these items. Changes that I only feel from the outside looking in.

Most of us will get older eventually and perhaps face similar challenges and changes in our daily lives.

I’m thinking that at such time, I would much rather don designer Paper Panties with my Earbuds and a Safety Necklace.

Words matter.