SHUTDOWN
It’s a time of night. A time in the night of a Caregiver. And the thing about “Shutdown” is that it can come at any time after the sun sets. And some days, the earlier the better.
It’s a time of the day that I truly have to myself before falling asleep. Well, I hope that’s how things happen. Sometimes, I am interrupted in the middle of Shutdown with an ever-pressing need from my Mother.
On the weekends, I generally end the day attempting to watch a movie before falling asleep. But as I mentioned, Shutdown can occur as early as 7PM during the winter months.
It’s the time of the day that occurs after I have literally put my Mom to bed.
Here’s the routine.
My Mother makes herself comfortable, putting on her pajamas and settling in bed. She informs me that she is going to “sit in her bed” which is my cue. I remove her ear buds (hearing aids), administer any nightly medication, make sure that she has enough Depends to make it through the night, and has taken off her glasses. I guess in some manner, I am “tucking her in.”
I then stand at the door and wave before turning out the light, “Goodnight, Mommy!”
“Goodnight.”
Now it’s Shutdown Time.
Time for me to relax. Time to shake off the day and look for a few moments of peace and freedom. The freedom of not having to do anything to serve my Mom at the moment and the peace to enjoy the moment.
At this point in the day, the dishes have usually been completely washed, the end of the day trash taken out, all Depends in their proper place and the Keurig Coffee machine set up and ready for the morning.
I don’t have anything to do for my Mother for the next few minutes, and I really do try to appreciate the time. It’s not a lot of time but it’s enough.
Some of the things that I do during “Shutdown,” are…
- Leisurely drink a glass of wine for enjoyment (versus a coping mechanism)
- Play a game of Solitude or Words with Friends
- Try to eliminate any screentime that isn’t relaxing
- Watch a television show that drives me to laughter
Things that I try not to do are…
- Have conversations that “wind me up”
- Review the events of the day that is ending
- Talk about my Mom & Caregiving
- Look forward to a future day that I can’t control
Tonight, I am taking the opportunity to write this week’s Blog Story for “A Caregiver’s Conscience.”
My mind is still trying to make sense of all the thoughts flying through my head. It’s hard to calm down. Sometimes, I make a cup of tea hoping that it will calm my nerves and slow down my replay of the past day or the pre-play of tomorrow’s events. It doesn’t always work.
Shutdown is a tad later this evening.
And I know that I have a busy day ahead tomorrow.
And since writing about Caregiving is interfering with relaxing and completely shutting down, I think that I’ll stop.
Shutdown.
And Good Night.
BLACKPINK – “SHUTDOWN”
https://youtu.be/POe9SOEKotk?si=2nQiRF7hL5aFfbuZ
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE PODCAST – “A CAREGIVERS’S NEED SLEEP”
https://youtu.be/9kMwQ863eg4?si=aIhKORECtG6lbU5W
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE – THE BLOG
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