POSTS

MASHED POTATOES

December 3, 2025

MASHED POTATOES

HOW I BROKE MY OWN CAREGIVING RULES

Here I am on another Holiday morning, exhausted thinking, I really don’t feel like making Mashed Potatoes.

Weeks ago, my cousin suggested we go out to dinner – 2 save me from hosting yet another Holiday meal. However, when she mentioned that if we went out for dinner, “there will be no leftovers,” I realized how much she enjoyed the home-cooked meal.

My Mother said that if I wanted to go out, she didn’t mind. However, she was most interested in the Restaurant Holiday Menu and appeared a tad disappointment in the menu offerings.

Both my Mother and my Cousin really wanted a traditional Holiday meal and by traditional, I mean—a meal prepared by Chef Me.

I realized that I couldn’t disappoint either one of them. For if this becomes my Mom’s last Holiday Meal, would I feel bad about not making the Mashed Potatoes that I know she loves? Perhaps. I am 100% sure that I may perhaps feel bad. Could I risk it? Caregiver guilt caused by Mashed Potatoes–I don’t think so.

100 people were asked and the Survey says – 99 respondents said, “Yes, make Mashed Potatoes!” My Brother, the only dissenting opinion, said, “You already have so much regular Caregiving stuff to do and it doesn’t seem like YOU want Mashed Potatoes.”

At that point, I decided that in the Spirit of the Holiday, I would make Potatoes. However, I had a new recipe for delicious Scalloped Potatoes Au Gratin that was ready to make its premier on the dinner table.

About that time, I decided to review my own recommendations for Caregiving during the Holidays.

And as has become a Holiday custom, I Broke my Own Rules for Caregiving during the Holidays.

Begin the day with the knowledge that Caregiving duties never cease.

DONE. I could never forget Caregiver duties.

Don’t expect to wake up feeling celebratory because the Church, the Government or Hallmark has called the day a Holiday.

DONE. I woke up feeling anything but celebratory!

Do not volunteer to host Holiday Dinners.

Just couldn’t go out to dinner knowing that my Family prefers my cooking. The Wanna-Be Chef in me!

If you do host, prepare dishes that you enjoy cooking and eating.

Obviously, this was a day that I did not want to prepare Mashed Potatoes.

Use Paper Plates. I realize that this seems sacrilegious, but seriously do you really want to wash more dishes than you normally do?

DONE. However, I did upgrade to heavy disposable designer plastic plates. I just had to resist the urge to wash them rather than toss them!

Do NOT expect any additional understanding, support or appreciation for all that you do just because the Holiday has been billed as a day of Joy or Thanksgiving.

This is hard; but my feelings were only kind of hurt. Afterall, there was a great deal of praise for the meal itself.

Dress for the occasion ONLY if it helps you feel more festive.

DONE.

Try to resist the urge to make Holiday Plans that you will be unable to keep.

Mission Not Accomplished. The Restaurant Reservation was cancelled 24 hours before my meal was served.

Make sure that you have an adequate supply of wine. Caregiving and Holidays are a recipe for “stress and frustration with a side of potential misery.”

DONE. Running out of wine is simply unacceptable.

When friends and relatives ask, “What’s new?” or “What have you been up to?” resist the urge to strangle them while loudly whispering or silently shouting, “I’m a Caregiver, WTF do you think I’ve been doing?”

No one asked.

Expect that the Holiday will closely resemble the day before except perhaps for any Seasonal decorations.

And the Traditional Holiday Meal complete with extra daily chores.

At some point, raise a glass of wine to toast yourself–you are experiencing and surviving a Caregiver’s Holiday!

DONE. At midnight, once the dishes were washed, the food stored and I had five minutes to do so!

Always remember and never forget, that in the Caregiver’s World a Holiday is just another day.

With the addition of Holiday Stress and a Traditional Holiday Meal.

As the appointed dinner time approached, I decided to forego the new recipe for Scalloped Potatoes Au Gratin and prepare the Mashed Potatoes everyone seemed to be expecting.

I was just wondering if I should make Garlic Mashed Potatoes or Fresh Rosemary Mashed Potatoes. LOL. Sometimes, I just can’t help myself.

When my Cousin arrived, she offered to mash the potatoes herself. I declined her gracious offer thinking to myself, “that’s the easy part!”

I have one addition to the Caregiver Holiday advice.